IN THE BEGINNING...

This is my therapy rhuem...

First I'll share a little history with you of the things that I have been through over the past 7 years.  In 2006 I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer.  Luckily, beginning stages and easily removed with a hysterectomy.  Still, extremely scary.  At the same time a mammogram was ordered and a small spot was found on the side of my left breast.  Again a 'lucky' break and was taken care of by a lumpectomy.  I took a pill form of chemo, some radiation, and I regularly went in for check ups.  Remission was formerly proclaimed in late '07.  2009 it was discovered that I was showing precancerous cells.  Laser therapy and more pills.  Precautionary I was told.  For the following 18 months I battled on and off with sickness, depression, fear.  I'm happy to say that I am cancer free as of today.  Although about a year and a half ago I was told that I had all the signs and symptoms of SLE form of Lupus.  I lived every day with pain.  I have for several years.  I also have sensitivity to sunlight, I break out in rashes, I have joint issues, muscle pain, and terrible migraines that have plagued me since age 13.  So I began a treatment plan and hoped for the best.  The problem was the doctor I had just wasn't involved.  She didn't listen to me.  She also could never really tell me if I actually HAD Lupus or not.  With all the research I did on my own I do know that it IS very difficult sometimes to diagnose properly.  It doesn't always show up in blood work.  You almost have to be in full 'flare'.  The medication I was taking didn't seem to help.  And the pain kept increasing.  As well as the fatigue.  I was having panic attacks.  I was SO depressed.  The migraines increased.  My hair was falling out at an alarming rate.  It hurt to stand, to sit, to sleep, to walk.  I had to eventually let go of my full time job.  That's when I decided to go in search of a new doctor.  I found one.  A good one.  He questioned the meds I was taking, gave me tests I'd NEVER had before, prescribed therapies for my joints and muscles - I loved the physical therapist he recommended - and truly listened to my symptoms, complaints, and even my mental state.  He told me to write things down.  I've never had a doctor who was so involved and so set on finding out what was going on with me. That's been about a year ago.  Approximately five months ago my hands started aching.  I mentioned it once, then a small, painful bump showed up on my finger.  I showed the doc a month ago and he asked to get some blood.  Then I got the call.  

Rhuematoid Arthritis...

I was standing in my sister's kitchen.  I was there babysitting her grandson that day.  So unprepared for that kind of news.  I knew something about RA.  My brothers mother in law has it.  At that specific time she was actually in the hospital.  Again.  Her pain, suffering, loss of movement, her hands... It all was like a flash in my brain.  I stared at my hands and the small bump on my ring finger of my left hand that inspired my doctor to run that damn test in the first place, and I cried.  

So, these past 5 weeks have been a real rollercoaster.  New meds right away.  I have an appointment coming up with my doctor who has a Rhuematologist recommendation for me.  Several new bumps have risen up on my fingers, elbows, and I think one on my back.  But, that may have been there for awhile and I just didn't notice it until now.  A new diet plan.  I'm trying is all I can say about that one... 

I go through the 'why me's' and the pity parties.  I get sad, mad, depressed.  But I also have hope.  Hope that I can conquer this somehow too.  I kicked cancers ASS for crying out loud!  I refuse to end up crippled from this until I just can't help it anymore.  And this blog is going to help me do that.  This is where I will vent, where I can brag about my small victories, share my defeats, and let it all go for the day.  Doctor recommended, and well accepted on my part... Hope.  Peace.